


AveNgeRs SqUaD

by Elevatornotworthy_1



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Awesome Clint Barton, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, F/M, Good Peter, James "Bucky" Barnes/Wanda Maximoff-centric, Meme Lord Shuri (Marvel), Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Protective T'Challa (Marvel), Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Science Bros, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Wanda Maximoff Helps Bucky Barnes Recover, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2020-06-25 11:49:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 12,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19745155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elevatornotworthy_1/pseuds/Elevatornotworthy_1
Summary: If The Avengers had a gc:)





	1. Hit or miss

**Author's Note:**

> ......enjoy.
> 
> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen else

**Peterman added Tony stank**

**Peterman added old man**

**Peterman added mother of all spiders**

**Peterman added og birdman**

**Peterman added Goldilocks**

**Peterman added green giant**

**Peterman added le Scarlet bitch**

**Peterman added the chilly soldier**

**Peterman added Birdman 2**

**Peterman added QUEEN OF MEMES**

**Peterman added queen elsa**

Tony stank: what the fuck is the meaning to this 

Old man: language

Peterman: we needed an Avengers group chat, Mr Stark. 

QUEEN OF MEMES:......hit or miss

Og birdman: I guess they never miss huh?

Peterman: 😱

QUEEN OF MEMES: wtf Clint how do you know that

Mother of spiders: he has kids 

Og birdman: what she said.

Birdman 2: sorry for interrupting whatever this is but who is who. 

The chilly soldier: guess 

Birdman 2: I'm gonna guess your Wanda 

The chilly soldier: I can't even

QUEEN OF MEMES: Shuri 

Old man: Steve 

Green Giant: bruce

Queen Elsa: I'm T'challa but why I am called queen Elsa?

Peterman: because Shuri said you freeze.

QUEEN OF MEMES: 😆

Goldilocks: I AM THOR

Green Giant: Thor turns off caps. 

Tony stank: 🤦

Mother of spiders: ^

Og birdman: ^

The chilly soldier: hey wanda wanna go watch a movie with me

Le scarlet bitch: yeah sure :)

**le scarlet bitch has gone offline**

**The chilly soldier has gone offline**

Birdman 2: ok what is going on with them 2 

Mother of spiders: no clue 

Birdman 2: wanna find out 

Og birdman: NO THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON WITH THEM. AND I WON'T LET THERE BE

mother of all spiders: oh come on Clint yeah we get it you love her like a daughter blah blah blah but come on you've got to be at least a bit curious.

Birdman 2: yeah come on man it'll be fun. 

Og birdman: 😤 fine 

**Mother of spiders has gone offline**

**Birdman 2 has gone offline**

**Og birdman has gone offline**

~2 hours later~

Mother of spiders: ugh 

Old man: what 

Mother of spiders: they didn't kiss 😠

Birdman 2: it wasn't that bad they had a few moments and let's be real, I think out of all of us they are the least to open up to someone

Old man: he makes a point they are pretty close anyway.

Green giant: I bet clint's happy about that.

Og bird man: you betcha ;)

* * *


	2. Its Wednesday my dudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa

**{bucky and wanda pc)**

wanda: James are you up?

Bucky: I am now 

Wanda: sorry

Bucky: no it's fine

Bucky: what's up?

Wanda: can't sleep

Bucky: Want to come in here 

Wanda: are you sure?

Bucky: of course :)

Wanda: thank you :)

**Wanda has gone offline**

**Bucky has gone offline**

**{Avenegers group chat}**

mother of spiders: anyone seen wanda? 

Peterman: nope

QUEEN OF MEMES: it's Wednesday, my dudes

Peterman: no I'm not doing it 

QUEEN OF MEMES: come on you know you want too

Peterman:... Not happening 

QUEEN OF MEMES: Peter Benjamin Parker if you don't then you are not honouring vine and I will never talk to you again. 

QUEEN OF MEMES: so I shall say it again, it's Wednesday my dudes

Peterman: AHHHHH

QUEEN OF MEMES: ayy 

Goldilocks: BUT IT ISN'T WEDNESDAY

Queen elsa: yes it is...

green giant: turn 👏 off 👏 caps 👏

Tony stank: ^ also Peter meet me in the lab in 5 minutes.

Peterman: okidokie :)

**Peterman has gone offline**

Birdman 2: Hey nat 

Mother of spiders: yeah

Birdman 2: I found wanda

Mother of spiders: where is she we are meant to be training 

Birdman 2: Well Clint won't like where she is 

Mother of spiders: wdum 

Birdman 2: **{picture of wanda and bucky in his bed, Wanda's head on his chest and his metal arm around her}**

mother of spiders: omfg 

Birdman 2: Clint is gonna freak 

Mother of spiders: did they sleep together?!?

Birdman 2: no cos look they are both dressed 

Mother of spiders: no I meant as in did they sleep together all night like actually sleeping..probably should have specified that.

Birdman 2: ohhhh... Yeah I think so 

Old man: aww they're cute 

Mother of spiders: ikr

Og birdman: NO THEY ARE NOT CUTE NOPE.

Oldman: ok Clint calm down.

The chilly soldier: wtf 

QUEEN OF MEME: and i - oop 

Le scarlet bitch: erm

Mother of spiders: abort mission

**mother of spiders has gone offline**

**Birdman 2 has gone offline**

**Og birdman has gone offline**

**Old man has gone offline**

**QUEEN OF MEMES has gone offline**

the chilly soldier: are they that scared of us

Le scarlet bitch: probably. If you put 2 hydra experiments together you're bound to get messed up

The chilly soldier: yeah, you mess with their heads and I strangle them

Le scarlet bitch: deal?

The chilly soldier: deal 

Le scarlet bitch: I feel evil 

The chilly soldier: well you are the scarlet witch so.

Le scarlet bitch: you make a good point sergeant 

The chilly soldier: ;)

Le scarlet bitch: so shall we go kill some motherfuckers 

The chilly soldier: I think we shall m' lady

Le scarlet bitch: let's get going then, sergeant 

**the chilly soldier has gone offline**

**Le scarlet bitch has gone offline**

Old man: uh oh 

Mother of spiders: but even them plotting to kill us is cute 

Birdman 2: that's not important right now

QUEEN OF MEMES: yeah we are on the 81st floor and they are on the 76th so I mean that gives us about 39 seconds until they find us and kill us. 

Og birdman: so in short... RUN 

**old man has gone offline**

**Birdman 2 has gone offline**

**Mother of spiders has gone offline**

**Og birdman has gone offline**

**QUEEN OF MEMES has gone offline**

Peterman: do you reckon we help them 

Tony stank: Nah they are Avengers they'll be fine 

Peterman: so the whole thing in Berlin was the Avengers jumping on Rainbows?

Tony stank: you little shit 

Peterman: 🤗

Tony stank: come on kid let's go get them 


	3. Its Wednesday my dudes part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa
> 
> I posted the last chapter at like half six in the morning and so if I don't write another one my mind will think I haven't posted at all today. So if you like the story then lucky you, you've got two chapters in one day

Peterman: Mr stark I can't find any of them

Peterman: Mr Stark?

Peterman: Mr Stark?

Peterman: Mr Bucky?

Peterman: Shuri? 

Peterman: anyone?

_two minutes later_

Green giant: I'm here 

Peterman: oh ok, do you know where Mr Stark is?

Green giant: have you asked FRIDAY?

Peterman: no 😬

Green Giant: I will for you 

Peterman: thank you, Dr Banner 

Green Giant: no problem kid

_20 seconds later_

Green giant: FRIDAY said his phone is turned off and he's in the med bay 

Peterman: who with?

Green giant: erm Nat, Sam, Clint, Steve and Shuri.

Peterman: uh oh 

Goldilocks: WHAT IS THE MATTER SPIDER BOY

Green giant: you know I don't even try anymore.

Green giant: but what is up anyway 

Peterman: read the chat

_30 seconds later_

Green giant: fuuuuckkkkkk 

Peterman: what do we do? 

Green Giant: you text Barnes and Maximoff and see if they answer if not tell me. I'll text Steve. Btw, Peter, the others are awake but I trust Steve more to give me a none biased opinion and all.

Goldilocks: WHAT ABOUT ME

Peterman: watch a movie 

Green giant: yeah do that 

Goldilocks: OK 

**{peter and bucky pc}**

Peter: hey Mr bucky 

Bucky: hey kid 

Peter: just a quick question.

Bucky: go ahead 

Peter: well it's two actually depending on how you answer the question.

Bucky: we are losing daylight Parker 

Peter: right yeah so, do you know why Miss Romanoff, Mr Wilson, Mr Barton, Mr Stark and Captain Rogers are in the med bay?

Bucky: ok first of you know you can call them by their first name right? and two yes I do know why they are there 

Peter: does that have to do with Wanda?

Bucky: no comment 

Bucky: ask Wanda. 

**{Wanda and Bucky pc}**

Bucky: Hey doll, just a heads up, Peter is gonna fucking interrogate you 

Wanda: what 

Bucky: just be ready 

Wanda: ok, sergeant ;)

Bucky: :) 

**{peter and wanda pc}**

Peter: hello

Wanda: I've been expecting you 

Peter: oh ok so do you know why people are in the med bay 

Wanda: yup 

Peter: can you tell me

Wanda: ask Natasha 

Peter: are you guys friends though

Wanda: of course we are. 

Peter: oh ok 

**{avengers group chat}**

Peterman: so apparently you are all friends 

Mother of spiders: yes we are 

Green giant: so what happened then 

Le scarlet bitch: well me and James went to kill them 

The chilly soldier: but we didn't want to because we both have already killed too many people and all

Birdman 2: so instead, they attacked us 

Old man: by trapping us in the walk-in freezer 

Og bird man: but BUT wanda the little bastard gave us visions that we were being chased by a Demogorgon in the south pole 

Le scarlet witch: it was random but I had just finished s3 so 🤷

The chilly soldier: and she ain't a bastard 🌨

Og birdman: hey I was a kidding 

The chilly soldier: I know but I'm trying to scare you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am open to any requests if you have any


	4. THAT'S MY OPINION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa

QUEEN OF MEMES: hOw do yOu KnOw wHatS gOoD fOr Me.

Peterman: THAT'S MY OPINION

Queen Elsa: wtf 

QUEEN OF MEMES: oi bruh if you have something to say, say it to ma face 

Queen Elsa: you forget I'm older then you don't you?

QUEEN OF MEMES:...

Queen Elsa: and you also forget that I am the king of Wakanda 

QUEEN OF MEMES: show of much 

Queen Elsa: you wanna fight 

QUEEN OF MEMES: come at me bitch

QUEEN OF MEMES: ugh siblings suck 

Le scarlet witch: lucky for me mine's dead...why the fuck did I say that 

Og birdman: Wanda you ok 

Og birdman: Wanda?

Old man: is she ok?

Peterman: what's happening?

QUEEN OF MEMES: no clue

Og birdman: anyone know where Wanda is?

The chilly soldier: I do 

Og birdman: of course you do

The chilly soldier: ❄☃🌪

Og birdman: 🖕

The chilly soldier: that's what I thought.

Old man: bucky

The chilly soldier: yep

Old man: where is Wanda?

The chilly soldier: Oh right yeah, watching stranger things with me

Og birdman: didn't you finish season 3 the day it came out 

The chilly soldier: yeah but we're watching it again.

Old man: is she ok though 

The chilly soldier: yeah she's fine just watching it set off something and reminded her of her brother.

Old man: alright pal, have fun 

_3 episodes of stranger things later_

mother of spiders: awww 

Tony stank: what 

Mother of spiders: bucky and wanda 

Tony stank: before we go any further, nat last time you mentioned them they tried to kill you 

Mother of spiders: worth it 

Birdman 2: ^

Birdman 2: what are they doing anyway 

Mother of spiders: **( picture of wanda asleep on Bucky's shoulder and bucky's head resting on hers with stranger things playing in the background)**

birdman 2: awww 

QUEEN OF MEMES: when will they just get together 

Old man: hopefully soon they both deserve to be happy 

Tony stank: that was sappy as fuck

Og bird man: no they can't be together I will not allow it

Mother of spiders: so you don't want wanda to be happy?

Og birdman: no I'm not saying that 

Birdman 2: sounds like it 

Og birdman: no I'm saying I don't want wanda to get hurt.

The chilly soldier: who said she will?

Tony stank: shiiitttttt 

Old man: language 

Tony stank: 🖕

Birdman 2: what are you saying, Barnes 

The chilly soldier:?

Birdman 2: you said 'who said she would get hurt' 

The chilly soldier:...

Birdman 2: ARE YOU TWO GOING OUT OR WHAT 

mother of spiders: wow Sam real smooth

Le scarlet bitch: no comment on the situation

QUEEN OF MEMES: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????

**the chilly soldier has gone offline**

**Le scarlet bitch has gone offline**

**{bucky and wanda pc}**

Bucky: that was a close one 

Wanda: yeah 

Bucky: wanna sleep in my room tonight?

Wanda: can't training with Nat first thing 🙁

Bucky: aw ok, night doll

Wanda: night Sergeant 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheheheh


	5. *not a chapter but plz read*

Right just really quickly I have a question for y'all

Right so my plan is thatt I'll make about this one but instead of it being texts its if it happened not in text. Does that makes sense? I mean like so when bucky asked wanda if she wanted to go to the cinema it would be like if he went up to her like "hey wanda do you wanna go watch a movie" 

I dunno when it will be up if i do it but would you read it?

Sorry not a chapter I'll post a new one tomorrow :)


	6. What's going on inside their head?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa

**{natasha and wanda pc}**

Natasha: wanda

Natasha: wanda

Natasha: wanda 

Natasha: wannnndaaaaaaaaa

Natasha: ugh 

Natasha: wanda

Natasha: wanda

Natasha: wanda

Wanda: what 

Natasha: meeting in 5 minutes

Wanda: why couldn't FRIDAY told me that

Natasha: because Stark is updating the system 

Wanda: k 

Natasha: don't be late

Wanda: when am I

Natasha: it's about HYDRA so you and Barnes are needed especially.

_After le meeting_

**{bucky and wanda pc}**

wanda: you ok?

Bucky: why?

Wanda: just that meeting got pretty detailed and all

Bucky: I could be asking you the same question

Wanda: you make a point sergeant but you still need to answer my question. I can read minds and I can read your's from miles away

Bucky: fine I'm not ok. I feel guilty about everything and it's just frustrating. And there's only you, Steve, Sam and Clint going on the mission and we both know HYDRA is after both of us, what happens if something goes wrong and you get captured or something

Wanda: wanna come over to my room?

Bucky: I can't watching TV with Steve, he's just gone to get a drink 

Wanda: alright if you need anything though don't you dare hesitate to come to me.

Bucky: have I ever mentioned how much I adore you?

Wanda: I believe you have, but it wouldn't hurt you hear it again ;)

Bucky: I adore you wanda maximoff

Wanda: and I adore you, James Buchannon Barnes. 

Wanda: we are sappy aren't we 

Bucky: yeah but no one knows about us so it doesn't matter 

Wanda: right you are, sergeant 

**{avengers group chat}**

QUEEN OF MEMES: have you ever looked at someone and wondered what is going on inside their head?

Le scarlet bitch: ik it's a vine but just to answer it, i don't relate to the situation

Peterman: show off

Le scalet bitch: alright calm down... Peter tingles 

Peterman: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

le scarlet bitch: you know, I can read minds and your's screams sometimes boy so don't fucking mess with me 

The chilly soldier: I apologise for her, she hasn't had enough caffeine today 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short i kinda forgot about posting today so


	7. The motherfucking tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOP 🚫  
> BEFORE YOU READ IVE CHANGED THE ENDING OF CHAPTER 4 AND ITS KINDA IMPORTANT FOR THIS CHAPTER SO IT WILL ONLY TAKE YOU LIKE 5 SECONDS TO READ THE END OF CHAPTER 4 
> 
> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa

**Natasha has created a new group chat**

**Natasha has added clint**

**Natasha has added Steve**

**Natasha has added sam**

**Natasha has added Shuri**

**Natasha has named the group: something is going on**

Clint: huh no weird names 

Sam: except yours.

Clint: shut up

Natasha: guys

Sam: uhuh

Natasha: something is going on with Barnes and wanda 

Steve: you've mentioned it a few times

Natasha: no I mean seriously this time I bet my life on It

Shuri: spill. The motherfucking. Tea ( ugh I had to change it to fill the context of this situation, Peter is gonna be pissed)

Natasha: Bucky has a journal right.

Steve: I thought only me and wanda knew about that 

Sam: why would wanda know

Steve: she's helping him with his memories and getting HYDRA out of his head, he thought she might need to see his journal.

Sam: k

Natasha: ok anyway Steve when was the last time you looked at it

Steve: wait hold up how do you know about it

Natasha: I'll get to that later 

Clint: continue

Natasha: so Steve answer the question 

Steve: right I only looked in it when he told me about it so about maybe a year ago

Natasha: ok so I went into Wanda's room looking for some nail polish (A/N from all the American YouTubers I watch they all say polish so I'll say that too) she has a lot of blacks btw it's insane. Anyway she told me they were in the top drawer and they weren't so I check the 2nd and I see this journal and me being the spy I am look in it and it's Bucky's journal.

Shuri: why is that in her room 

Natasha: exactly 

Clint: it could just be for when try have their session things 

Sam: idk they do that in his room

Natasha: precisely

Steve: so what are your reasons behind this 

Natasha: honestly I'm not sure just seems weird 

Clint: that means nothing then 

Shuri: shut up and do you have any more proof 

Natasha: you betcha 

Sam: go on then 

Natasha: remember when you came back from the raft and wanda wouldn't let anyone near her, not even Clint, and she would put like a shield around her and what not

Steve: yeah

Natasha: when she started to do sessions with Barnes she still had was putting shields up a lot.

Sam: yeah

Natasha: well her and Clint are really really close right 

Clint: yes we are 

Natasha: and she wouldn't put her shield up for Clint after about a week. And when she did only Clint and Barnes were able to get her out of it. 

Natasha: that one isn't as good as the next one though 

Shuri: go on 

Natasha: right so. Yesterday we were all in the living room right and bucky and wanda where in the kitchen. When I went to get a drink, Bucky got up and said 'right need to go talk to Steve be right back' and kissed her on the cheek I'm guessing forgetting I was there. 

Shuri: OMG NATAHSA WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU BITCH 

Sam: rjakdjajsjskakdjaksklqldkqkzjjdjfbeiaohdkwjs

Steve: 🥳🤯🥳

Clint: no this not happening nope nope nope

Shuri: do you reckon we should add them this group chat to see what they have to say 

Sam: yeah can we

Natasha: yeah 

Natasha: before we do there is one last thing 

Clint: what 

Natasha: wanda sort of kinda has... How do i put this delicately.... I'll say... Purple things on her neck

Sam: holy shit 

Shuri: DJAKKDKAKDKWKkdkskakdjskskslalkdkw

Steve: how didn't i notice that 

Clint: that is my daughter 

Sam: no she isn't 

Shuri: so let me get this straight. Wanda has Hickeys 

Natasha: yep

Shuri: omg 

Natasha: ikr 

Natasha: ok I'll add them now

**natahsa added wanda**

**Natahsa added Bucky**

wanda: what is this 

Bucky: yeah 

Steve: buck is there something you wanna tell us 

Bucky:?

Shuri: ugh enough

Sam: Shuri no

Shuri: I'm sorry 

Wanda: what now 

Shuri: ARE YOU TWO GOING OUT OR WHY CIS NAT SAW BARNES KISS WANDAS CHEEK AND WANDA HAS WHAT NATAHSA THINKS TI BE HICKEYS SO OWN UP NOW OR I SWEAR I WILL BEHEAD BOTH OF YOU 

Wanda: James you fucking idiot 

Clint: oof

Natahsa: we need an answer 

Wanda: I've said it once and I'll say it again. James you fucking idiot 

Natahsa: answer the fucking question 

Wanda: you can take this one sergeant 

Bucky: yeah we are dating 

Shuri: YES BITCH 

Steve: I'm happy for you pal 

Sam: 🥳

Natasha: I can rest now (A/N if you got that reference I'm sorry I didn't mean to. I'm kinda sad now 🙁)

Clint: NO NO NO I DO NOT ALLOW THIS NO NO NOT MY DAUGHTER

Bucky: sorry Clint but I happen to love your 'daughter'

Shuri: aww 

Wanda: you what, James

Sam:.... 

Bucky: moving now, please...please 

Steve: no we aren't moving on 

Wanda: you what 

Bucky: we should probably be doing this in person 

Natahsa: no cos then we won't be able to witness it

Bucky: fine

Wanda: hold up 

Bucky: i love you wanda maximoff

Wanda: give me a second 

**Wanda has gone offline**

Bucky: shit. There goes my relations 

Steve: what 

Natasha: he dropped his phone 

Clint: how do you know

Shuri: we're watching the live security cameras

Sam: why did he drop his phone 

Natasha: wanda kissed him 

Shuri: and they're still going 

Natasha: about 12 seconds 

Steve: cute 

Sam: guess they love each other 

Shuri: AWWWW

Clint: what 

Natasha: she broke the kiss and said and I quote 'i love you too, James Buchanon Barnes'

Shuri: guess we don't need this group then

Shuri: wait i want screenshots first 

Shuri: got them

**Natasha deleted the group chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need requests please because im slowly running out of ideas


	8. Oof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa

**{clint and bucky pc}**

Clint: Bucky

Bucky: what

Clint: I'm sorry, it's just I love Wanda so much and with everything she's been through I don't want her to get hurt. And Ik she loves you and you love her but idk I'm sorry 

Bucky: it's fine

Clint: but if you hurt her I won't hesitate to fucking slit your throat

Bucky: you couldn't take me 

Clint: if you hurt wanda I will be running on so much adrenaline thor wouldn't be able to take me

Bucky: ok but I would never imagine on hurting her anyway. But if it makes you happy. I promise I won't hurt her

Clint: that will be all. 

**{avengers gc}**

Peterman: so I heard that there was tea

Tony stank:?

Goldilocks: I WOULD LIKE SOME CAFFEINE PLEASE 

Green giant: *screams*

Queen Elsa: what is the 'tea' Peter 

Peterman: I think I should let your sister take this one

QUEEN OF MEMES: ah yes. But it was Natasha's genius plan, so I believe it should be her 

Mother of spiders: no, it should be Clint 

Queen Elsa: what is going on

Green giant: ^

Old man: yeah it should be clint because I think he and Bucky have come to an agreement.

Og birdman: Nah should be one of them 

Birdman 2: yeah 

Mother of spiders: speaking of them, where are they 

Tony stank: where are who?

QUEEN OF MEMES: Wanda and Bucky 

Tony stank: they left the tower about 45 minutes ago 

Old man: where did they go 

Tony stank: dunno

Birdman 2: huh look at that. Tony Stark doesn't know something

QUEEN OF MEMES: oof 

Green giant: have you tracked their phones 

Tony stank:.....brb 

Green giant: Tony really isn't himself today 

Peterman: we were fixing his suit all night. Took forever. We may have broken the coffee machine 

Og birdman: wanda is gonna be pissed 

Goldilocks: THE COFFEE MACHINE HAD A HEART AND YOU KILLED JEFFERSON. I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU. 

old man: wow

QUEEN OF MEMES: ikr 

Tony stank: ugh Wanda and Barnes have gone ice skating

Queen Elsa: something is going on between the two of them 

QUEEN OF MEMES: oh brother you stupid chicken nugget 

Queen Elsa: is that supposed to be an insult 

QUEEN OF MEMES: a subtle insult 

Queen Elsa: I can stop you from using your lab.

QUEEN OF MEMES: you wouldn't dare

Queen Elsa: watch me 

QUEEN OF MEMES: you sick son of a bitch 

Queen Elsa: one second

Queen Elsa: annnnd did 

QUEEN OF MEMES: uh fuck I've can't believe you've done this 

Peterman: *high five* 

QUEEN OF MEMES: yes bitch

Tony stank: sorry to interrupt but why is your brother a 'stupid chicken nugget'?

QUEEN OF MEMES: I'll tell you when you're older

Mother of spiders: we will tell you when bucky and wanda get back 

Green giant: well that's in about 10 minutes so 

_15 minutes later_

Birdman 2: finally they're back 

Le scalet bitch: WHO BROKE THE FUCKING COFFEE MACHINE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IM GONNA THROW SOMEONE OUT A WINDOW. I MEAN STARK IS FUCKING LOADED SO WHY HAVENT WE GOT ANOTHER ONE BY NOW. I LEGIT HAD TO DRINK COFFEE FROM AN ICE SKATING PLACE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT TASTED LIKE? HUH? IT TASTED LIKE MY PARENTS, WHO DIED LIKE 15 YEARS AGO, DEAD BODIES BLENDED WITH DOG FOOD. SO WHO WAS IT. IF YOU DONT OWN UP THEN IT WILL HE WORSE COS HUN I CAN READ MINDS AND I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL THROW YOU INTO A FUCKINH BURNING TRUCK. 

the chilly soldier: I apologise 

Green giant: we have been told that you and wanda need to tell us something 

The chilly soldier: and who told you that

QUEEN OF MEMES: ok 1. It was us and 2. Wanda, Peter broke the coffee machine

Peterman: THANKS A LOT SHURI 

Le scarlet bitch: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHERE ARE YOU BOY 

Peterman: Mr stark help

Tony stank: it's ok kid I've been against her before.

Le scarlet bitch: and how did that work out for you?

Le scarlet bitch: that's what i thought 

Mother of spiders: ok.... 

Le scarlet bitch: oh shit 

Old man: what 

Le scarlet bitch: i think there was something really wrong with that coff

Og birdman: is she ok?

Mother of spiders: Barnes?

The chilly soldier: already at her room calm down im always in the general vicinity

Mother of spiders: is she ok?

The chilly soldier: rn..no she is throwing up her guts.

The chilly soldier: best tell the others tomorrow.

Birdman 2: yep 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's short I'll post another chapter later tho :)


	9. THAT IS MAHOGANY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony: Tony stank  
> Steve: old man  
> Natasha: mother of spiders  
> Clint: og birdman  
> Thor: Goldilocks  
> Bruce: green giant  
> Wanda: le scarlet bitch  
> Bucky: the chilly soldier  
> Sam: Birdman 2  
> Peter: Peterman  
> Shuri: QUEEN OF MEMES  
> T'challa: Queen elsa

birdman 2: who is singing?

Tony stank: is it bad?

Birdman 2: no, it's amazing honestly, but it doesn't sound like any of the gals

Tony stank: what are they singing?

Birdman 2: hang on 

Tony stank: k 

Birdman 2: wait does not play the guitar?

Tony stank: dunno

Og birdman: wanda 

Birdman 2: what?

Og birdman: wanda plays the guitar 

Birdman 2: huh 

Tony stank: what is she singing then 

Og birdman: probably a mix of what wonderful world and that one by Elvis Presley erm... Can't help falling in love with you or something 

QUEEN OF MEMES: I am part of this situation now and as part of it I have to say WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE WAITING FOR 

The chilly soldier: sorry what's going on with wanda 

og birdman: she's singing 

Birdman 2: Barnes you should know

Tony stank: why would he know 

The chilly soldier: Sam I'm warning you

Peterman: Oh come on guys I think it's time.. Wanda isn't throwing up her guts and you're not ice skating so what's the hold-up. 

The chilly soldiers: I will kill you 

QUEEN OF MEMES: over my dead body 

The chilly soldier: wanda has a guitar, they hurt if you are hit over the head anyway nevermind the fact she has powers and all

Tony stank: Peter you will tell me what's going now.

Peterman: fine 

The chilly soldier: Peter I'm warning you 

Tony stank: Barnes

The chilly soldier: Stark 

Le scarlet bitch: James

The chilly soldier: Wanda 

Le scarlet bitch: let's get it over it 

Birdman 2: finally 

QUEEN OF MEMES: FUCKING FINALLY

Peterman: YES BITCHES 

Le scarlet bitch: then again 

The chilly soldier: should probably wait for everyone else 

Le scarlet bitch: yeahhhh 

Le scarlet bitch: anyway i have a guitar that needs tuning 

Tony Stank: how many guitars do you have 

Le scarlet bitch: a lot

peterman: *stabs table*

QUEEN OF MEMES: THAT IS MAHOGANY 

Peterman: so close 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need requests please because hun if you can't tell im running out of ideas :p


	10. Sorry 😬

Ok so here's the tea. Right so cos it's the end of the school year, I'm tired as fuck so. I'm either gonna post on Saturday and Sunday :/ *  
Sorry for keeping you waiting :(


	11. Stahp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry but beware this one sucks

old man: avengers get ya asses online now

Peterman: 😱

Tony stank: oh ma Gawd 

QUEEN OF MEMES: he... Swore....shit

Old man: oh get over yourselves 

Mother of spiders: is someone angry?

Old man: you know what Romanoff

Goldilocks: I AM HERE 

green giant: Same and for fuck's sake turn of capsss

Tony stank: language 

Birdman 2: im online 

O g birdman: same 

Queen Elsa: make this quick I have to be somewhere

Old man: we just need wanda and bucky

Mother of spiders: their busy remember

Old man: doing what 

Mother of spiders: a follow-up mission to do with hydra 

Old man: right yeah 

Old man: ok never mind you can all go do whatever you were up to

Peterman: Shuri 

QUEEN OF MEMES: yes 

Peterman: im gonna go watch some cringy Tik Toks, care to join me

QUEEN OF MEMES: that's a stupid question. But yeah I do 

Peterman: on another note, stahp I could have dropped my quackson (A/N tom Holland reference for you tom Holland stans)

Queen Elsa: you kids are weird 

QUEEN OF MEMES: excuse you we are 17

Peterman: we are teenagers 

QUEEN OF MEMES: get ya facts right 

Queen Elsa: oh fuck off

Peterman:*gasps* 

QUEEN OF MEMES: that's some mighty language for a king 

Queen Elsa: exactly im a kind I can do what I please

QUEEN OF MEMES: not for long brother 

Queen elsa: uhuh right yeah

Mother of spiders: children settle down now 


	12. Bitch i hope the fuck you do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO STOP RIGHT THERE MY DUDES
> 
> I've wanted to write somethingh about the avengers watch age of ultron for a while (cos its my fav movie) but would anyone actually read it if i did. Like i probaly will anyway but out of curiosity. Also I'll make this note its own chapter cos i know not alot of people actually read this. So let me know please

Peterman: Mr starrrrkkkkkk

QUEEN OF MEMES: bitch I hope the fuck you do

Tony stank: what

Peterman: Shuri STOLE my headphones and won't give them back

Tony stank: bloody hell you kids are gonna be the death of me

QUEEN OF MEMES: Excuse me but if memory serves me, which it does, you said that I could BORROW your headphones whenever I pleased

Peterman: yeah you make sure im not using them at the time of you need them

QUEEN OF MEMES: but you didn't specify that did you, Parker

Peterman: yeah..but

QUEEN OF MEMES: haha 

Peterman: mr starrrrkkkkkk

Tony stank: sorry kid she got you there

QUEEN OF MEMES: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Peterman: oh fuck off

Oldman: language 

QUEEN OF MEMES: haha Peter you know better than to swear you silly bitch

Oldman: language

Scarlet bitch: I think it's my turn to weigh in here and say 

Scarlet bitch: ha ha ha ha 

Oldman: wanda

Scarlet bitch: OH COME ON I DIDNT EVEN SWEAR

Oldman: Yeah well don't mess with the teenagers they will probably kill you

Scarlet bitch: as if

Peterman: big ego much and me and Shuri could kill you

QUEEN OF MEMES: Yeah we could

Scarlet bitch: ok first of no, you couldn't, I can fuck with your minds. Second I might not be the one to actually kill you.

Tony stank: she makes a point and she can move shit with her mind so

Peterman: ok but if she isn't the to kill us who is

Birdman 2: its either Barnes or Clint

Scarlet bitch: whoever is closer 

Birdman 2: most likely Barnes, if you're picking up what im putting down

QUEEN OF MEMES: ooooooooooooo the tea has been spilt

Scarlet bitch: wanna fight Sam?

Birdman 2: no comment 

Scarlet bitch: that's what i thought 

Birdman 2: blah blah blah 

Scarlet bitch: 🖕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need requests baddddd


	13. Sorry 😬 but urgentish

hey **so i asked this in the notes last chapter but im not sure if everyone reads that so I'll ask again just in case**

**I'll probably write it anyway but would anyone read 'avengers watch age of Ultron.'**

**It would include:**

**Wanda**

**Bucky**

**Steve**

**Nat**

**Tony**

**Bruce**

**Thor**

**Loki**

**Clint**

**Carol**

**Scott**

**Hope**

**Valkerie (idk how to spell)**

**Vision**

**Peter p**

**Shuri**

**T'challa**

**Okoye**

**Peter q**

**Gamora**

**Nebula**

**Drax**

**Mantis**

**Rocket**

**And finally got**

**Disclaimer: I don't ship vision and wanda at all i ship bucky and wanda. But there won't be any major relationships maybe Bruce and nat. Vision and wanda will just be really good friends tho**


	14. Iridocyclitis

Green giant: imagine a pig

Tony stank: what

Green giant: a thick ass pig

Peterman: Mr Stark is he ok?

Green giant: and then you put Nutella on it

QUEEN OF MEMES: excuse you

Green giant: and then you eat said pig 

Queen Elsa: Dr banner are you high?

Green giant: but you obviously kill it and baconfy it

QUEEN OF MEMES: Bruce, are you feeling ok?

Green giant: yes i an allllllll gucciiiii 

Tony stank: when was the last time you slept

Green giant: what kind of question is that?!

Tony stank: Bruce, come on bud, 

Green giant: fineeee, dad, abouttttttt 9 days ago

Peterman: holy shit 

QUEEN OF MEMES: Bruce how do you speel: iridocyclitis 

Green giant: how stupid so you think i am i can just copy your text 

QUEEN OF MEMES: ok spell it then

Green giant: iridisceeclyties 

Tony stank: bud you need sleep

Green giant: I CAN LIVE FOREVER 

Queen Elsa: oh my 

Green giant: ONG I CAN LIVE WAKANDA FOREVER 

Green giant: see what i did there 

Queen Elsa: yes, but i think you need sleep

QUEEN OF MEMES: this is priceless entertainment honestly 

Peterman: ikr this is comedy gold

Tony stank: someone get wanda online 

Queen Elsa: will she be awake?

Tony stank: of course she and Barnes get nightmares, keeps them both up most nights. 

Peterman: oh yeah btw i think you guys should know that Bucky and Wanda are dating. 

QUEEN OF MEMES: they also love eachother, we where there

Queen Elsa: hmm interesting 

Green giant: OH MY GAED THEY ARE DATING?!? THEY MUST HAVE ALOT OF SEX 

Tony stank: Bruce what the actual fuck

Queen Elsa: Ok Shuri get Wanda to Bruce 

QUEEN OF MEMES: why?

Tony stank: hopefully she will put him to sleep

Le scarlet bitch: do you know what time it is? I was actually sleeping for once 

Green giant: was is because you and Barnes were having all the sex 

Le scarlet bitch: yeah ok goodnight Bruce.

**{The next day}**

Birdman 2: ok but why is Wanda, Peter, Shuri, T'challa and Tony all asleep

Oldman: no clue 

Mother of spiders: i think Bruce was really sleep-deprived 

Goldilocks: WHERE IS BRUCE 

mother of spiders: chances are he's in bed

Og birdman: yep i think he's gonna be like that for a 18 of so hours 

The chilly soldier: i reckon 25 hours 

Og birdman: oh the game is on daughter stealer 

The chilly soldier: may the best man win

Oldman: you guys picked a number its not that big of a deal. 

Og birdman: wanna fight brush

Oldman: no i was just saying. 

**{25 hours later}**

Green giant: hey guys

Goldilocks: HELLO BRUCE 

The chilly soldier: AHA I WIN TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER 

Og birdman: fine... Daughter stealer 

The chilly soldier: YEAH WELL IM SLEEPING EITH HER SO THAG ISNT AN INSTILT

Le scarlet bitch:....

Og bidman: 🤣

Le scarket bitch: Got too competitive then James?

The chillt soldier: yep...

Le scarlet bitch: what the fuck am i gonna do with you

The mother of spiders: is that her being like horny or whatever is it her generally being disappointed 

Le scarlet bitch: just generally disappointed 

The chilly soldier: yeah but you still love me so

Le scarlet bitch: somehow yes 


	15. No more ice cream...ever

Peterman: Mr starkk

Tony stank: what

Peterman: I ate too much ice cream 

Tony stark: Damn it 

Tony stank: how much exactly 

Peterman: between me and Shuri..... About 9 tubs 

Tony stank: how much did you eat though 

Peterman: maybe.... 5 ... 

Tony stank: what am i gonna do with you 

Tony stank: do you feel ill?

Peterman: i would be lying if i said no

Tony stank: Jesus.

Peterman: 😬

Tony stank: how's Shuri?

Peterman: she threw it all up about 1 min ago

Tony stank: oh my God you kids are insane

Peterman: ughh im never eating ice cream again 

Tony stank: you will but sure 

Peterman: i think I might die!

Tony stank: you're not going to die

Peterman: dont underestimate me

Tony stank: come here, im in my lab

Peterman: i can't move or i will throw up my guts

Tony stank: alright hold on 

Peterman: thanks Mr stark 

Tony stank: no probs kid

Tony stank: im never getting you ice cream again though 

Peterman: yes sir


	16. WE WERE ON A BREAK

Le scarlet bitch: right, Ross and Rachel were a better couple then Monica and Chandler 

Peterman: WHAT

Le scarlet bitch: what it's just my opinion, i think it was better before season 4

Peterman: HOW? MONICA AND CHANDLER ARE THE BEST COUPLE IN THE SHOW! 

Le scarlet bitch: i just think that their relationship is unnatural. Monica wanted to have sex with Joey and settled for Chandler she didn't sleep with him because she had feelings for him. She has sex with him because she was sad. 

Queen else: she makes a good point 

Peterman: yeah but that evolved into love 

Le scarlet bitch: yeah because they had seen another naked.

QUEEN OF MEMES: Ross and Rachel are the best couple. 

Peterman: eh Monica and Chandler for the win 

Le scarlet bitch: the reason Ross and Rachel worked was because Ross loved Rachel. And then when Rachel found out she tried to ignore it but when she went on that date she could only see Ross. And she was jealous when he went out with other girls. Monica was never jealous when Chandler when out with others. In fact, she literally told him how to fuck her better. So..

Peterman: yes but Ross and Rachel broke up

QUEEN OF MEMES: THEY WERE ON A BREAK

Peterman: ROSS DIDNT KNOW

QUEEN OF MEMES: RACHEL SPECIFICALLY SAID WE SHOULD TAKE A BREAK FROM EACHOTHER. NOT WE ARE BREAKING UP. AND WHAT'S WORSE IF THEY DID BREAK UP THAT MEANS ROSS DECIDED TO FUCK ANOTHER GIRL LESS THEN 24HRS LATER

Queen else: SHURI!

Le scarlet bitch: AND MONICA AND CHANDLER RUINED JOEY AND CHANDLERS FRIEDNSHIP. THEY ALSO KICKED RACHEL OUT INSTEAD OF FINDING A NEW PLACE TO LIVE.

THE MEME QUEEN: EXACTLY

Le scarlet bitch: right everyone online now let's take a vote.

Le scarlet bitch: great ok all for Monica and Chandler

Peterman: Me

Green giant: Me

Goldilocks: ME

Old man: Me

Mother of spiders: Me 

Og birdman: Me

Birdman 2: Me

The chilly soldier: Sorry doll, Me 

Le scarlet bitch: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME

The chilly soldier: i do but... 

Le scarlet bitch: ugh and all for Rachel and Ross

QUEEN OF MEMES: me

Queen else: me 

Tony stank: me

Le scarlet bitch: me

Le scarlet bitch: ugh

Peterman: ha we win 

Le scarlet bitch: meh


	17. Now number five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY YOU THERE, READ THIS NOW  
> so have 3 ongoing stories this one, an avengers watch their movies one and a winterwitch oneshot one.  
> For me when i update 2 of them, they don't go to the top of the thing for uploaded, idk if its just me or it is for everyone else. So I'm here to say, i do update all my stories once a week or more so if you don't see them, and you want to read them, check because i do update them. Ok enjoy this chapter :)  
> ALSO THIS CHAPTER IS BASED OF A TRUE STORY (well the beginning,)

* * *

Birdman 2: Wii sports is the best game on the Wii and you can't change my mind

Le scarlet bitch: YES I CAN, MARIO KART IS THE BEST

Peterman: what about sims 3 on the Wii

Le scarlet bitch: eh sims is only fun when you have cc

Peterman: when i was 7 the death scenes or whatever scared the shit out of me

_12 hours later_

peteman: you are my fire 

QUEEN OF MEMES: the one desire 

Og birdman: believe when i say

Mother of spiders: i want it that way 

Bidman 2: tell me why

Goldilocks: AINT NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE

Green giant: tell me why

Old man: ain't nothing but a mistake 

Le scarlet bitch: now number five

The chilly soldier: i never want hear you say

Queen elsa: i want it that way

Tony stank: its fucking 3am why are you all awake

Peterman:... 

Tony stank: answer the question

Peterman: me and shuri where watching Brooklyn nine nine because we head voices 

Mother of spiders: sorry but what kind of noises 

QUEEN OF MEMES: like someone was in pain almost 

Mother of spider: hmm 

Queen elsa:i have a meeting in half an hour

Mother of spiders: me and clint are rewatching parks and rec

Oldman: me and Sam where training 

Green giant: i was in the lab

Goldilocks: LOKI IS BEING ANNOYING.

Tony stank: ok, sabrina and Barnes what's your excuse 

Le scarlet bitch:... 

The chilly soldier:... 

**{bucky and wanda pc}**

wanda: what the hell are we supposed to say

Bucky: idk but im pretty sure Nat will figure it out

Wanda: i think she already has 

Wanda: we can't say oh yeah we where fucking 

Bucky: that's bold

Wanda: but you see my point 

Bucky: yeah 

**{avengers gc}**

Tony stank: come on spit it out 

Mother of spiders: sorry Tony but if you don't mind me asking them a few questions 

Le scarlet bitch: nat don't 

Oldman: what's going on

Mother of spiders: so wanda

Le scarlet bitch: nat seriously 

Mother of spiders: ugh fine you take all the fun out if it

Tony stank: oh just tell us why you where up

The chilly soldier: i don't think you want to know why

Tony stank:.... 

Oldman:....

QUEEN OF MEMES:...

Peterman:... 

Queen elsa:.... 

Birdman 2:....

Green giant:... 

Goldilocks:......

Tony stank: wait a minute 

Peterman: i don't get it

Le scarlet bitch:... NATASHA AND STEVE ARE GOING OUT 

old man: WANDA 

Mother of spiders: damn it 

Peterman: WAIT WHAT 

Og birdman: i already knew 

Birdman 2: ayyyy 

Tony stank: wait so how long have 2 been dating then

Oldman: about 10 months 

QUEEN OF MEMES: holy shit

Green giant: so everytime you guys where doing laundry you were.... 

Oldman: kinda.. 

Le scarlet bitch: well this has been entertaining 

Mother of spiders: oh ok then I'll make it even more entertaining. 

The chilly soldier: no no no

Mother of spiders: hey clint

Og birdman: yeah..

Le scarlet bitch: some one shoot me please 

Mother of spiders: BARNES WAS FUCKING WANDA 

Og birdman: IRIAJKAKDJAKKDKAKKAKKOQOKQKKSKAKAKAKSOWIDHDHEIAJDJQISISJQISIKAJSJWJSHEJQKSJWJWJAJSJIWIAIDIEIAHDJAIAJSJSBSBDHUWIAKSJEJAONSBDJWKAJSBHRJWI

Peterman: so the noices me and Shuri heard... Jdkakd 

Le scarlet bitch: you know its fine no one will miss me, I'll get to see my parents and my brother. So someone FOR FUCKS SAKE SHOOT ME RUGGT NOW


	18. I'm peppa pig

**{Bucky and Nat pc}**

Natasha: Barnes 

Natasha: Barnes 

Natasha: Barnes 

Natasha: Barnes 

Natasha: Barnes 

Bucky: What

Natasha: Has Steve mentioned me since you guys found out about us 

Bucky: He talks about you none stop... Happy?

Natasha: Ok but what does he say exactly

Bucky: What 

Natasha: What does he say like is it bad things or good things 

Bucky: He says you're a persistent little bitch who never stops asking questions 

Natasha: Watch what you say Barnes 

Bucky: Eh im not being a spy on my best friend 

Natasha: Why not 

Bucky: Becuase he is my best friend and im not ratting him out 

Natasha: Oh come on

Bucky: You are aware that Steve is probably asking Wanda rn 

Natasha: and 

Bucky: I'm assuming because you want to know if Steve has said anything bad about you, he wants to know if you have said anything bad about him 

Natasha:... 

Bucky: and, you have 

Natasha: Wanda won't rat me out 

Bucky: and therefore I shall not rat our Steve 

Natasha: Ugh you're the worst 

Bucky: I know :)

**{Steve and Wanda pc}**

Steve: Hey wanda 

Wanda: yep

Steve: Does Nat ever talk about me 

Wanda: yep

Steve: What does she say 

Wanda: you're trying to see if she says anything bad about you and then use her against her in an argument. 

Steve:... 

Wanda: so im right

Steve: only because you can minds 

Wanda: Right ik you guys have been going out for almost what a year and we've known for about 5 days. Nat has already spilled her guts on everything she has had to bottle up within said year 

Steve: what are you a detective?

Wanda: no anyway 

Wanda: so i have heard everything from the good to bad 

Steve:..

Wanda: Steve do you love her

Steve: yes 

Wanda: and does she love you

Steve: I'm 97% sure 

Wanda: There you go that's all you need to know.

Steve: you didn't help at all

Wanda: I offered wisdom though 

Steve:...yeah 

Wanda: you are welcome 

Wanda: have u even said that you love each other yet?

Steve: did Nat no tell you

Wanda: she did but i wanna hear it from you

Steve: oh.. Ok.... Yeah we have 

Wanda: k

**{Avengers gc}**

Peterman: could the rain like not

QUEEN OF MEMES: Ikr can't Thor do something bout it

Goldilocks: I CAN BUT IM TOO TIRED RN 

Peterman: please

Goldilocks: NO IT WILL REQUIRE ALOT OF ENGERY AND I DO NOT HAVE THAT

QUEEN OF MEMES: pleaseeeeeee

Goldilocks: NO 

Peterman: 😪 

QUEEN OF MEMES: ok can anyone like make it so the rain is it isn't over the compound 

Le scarlet bitch: i probably could

Peteran: yay

Le scarlet bitch: but I don't really want to.. I like the rain

Peterman: oh come on even when you lived on the streets you liked the rain

Le scarlet bitch: not then but i do now because i have different priorities. I'm also not getting out of bed 

QUEEN OF MEMES: seriously its half 1 

Le scarlet bitch: and im comfy plus you 2 are smart figure something out 

QUEEN OF MEMES: You're only comfy because Barnes is there 

Le Scarlet bitch: ik youre making of me but you're not wrong so 🤷‍♀️

Tony stank: yeah we get it you're cute together

Le scarlet bitch: eh 

Tony stank: just enjoy the rain or something become peppa pig and jump in muddy puddles 

Peterman: 😑

Tony stank: seriously i reccomened you do that now we know that Nat and Steve are going out they don't hesitate to 'show their relationship off' so run while you can.

Le scarlet bitch: who thought grandpa would be so into PDA 

Tony stank: ikr its hard to be around 

Le scarlet bitch: they need like an intervention or something 

Tony stank: right if they don't stop being all coupley in the next 4 weeks its intervention time bitches 


	19. Another Coffee machine down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY PERSON STOP PLEASE HELLLOOOOO.   
> so I've posted on all my stories so if you wish to read avengers watch age of ultron and/or winter witch one shots then... Read them because I've updated them all in the span of one hour so :)

Mother of spiders: right then kiddos me and Stevie are gonna be gone for a few days 

Tony stank: why

Oldman: couples weekend away from work and you guys 

Le scarlet bitch: ok 1. Ouch and 2. Thank God 

Oldman: what's that meant to mean 

Le scarlet bitch: you guys are like my best friends (mainly because i have no other friends) and it's not fun when you see the parents of the group half naked making out on every fucking surface possible

Tony stank: Sabrina makes a point 

mother of spiders: how come you and Barnes aren't getting this 

The chilly soldier: because we don't ruin kitchen counters 

Oldman: THAT WAS ONE TIME

the chilly soldier: THATS ONE TIME TO MANY 

Oldman: THIS ISNT FAIR BACK IN THE 40s YOU WERE GETTING WITH GIRLS LEFT AND RIGHT 

le scarlet bitch:... 

Old man: sorry Wanda 

The chilly soldier: YEAH BUT IT DIDNT RUIN ANY OF YOUR KITCHEN CABNITS 

Old man: YOU NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM THO

Le scarlet bitch: dude 

the chilly soldier: this is really helping out relationship isn't it 

Le scarlet bitch: yep

Le scarlet bitch: so Nat where are u 2 going

Mother of spiders: oh to a nice little place by a lake many miles away from here 

Oldman: on that note.... Bucky and Sam play nice with peter 

Peterman: HA 

The chilly soldier: we aren't that mean 

Peterman: it is just banter sir... I think

Birdman 2: yes exactly 

Le scaret bitch: I'll watch over them Steve 

Old man: thanks Wanda 

Le scarlet bitch: do i get to lock them up

Old man: no

Le scarlet bitch: ugh you're the worst 

Mother of spiders: don't talk to your father like that 

Le scarlet bitch: IM 25 

Old man: Hey don't talk to your mother like that either 

Tony stank: shouldn't said that they where the parents

Og birdman: Hey Wanda what about me? 

Le scarlet bitch: no ugh ahhh right Clint i love you as a father blah blah blah but you don't act like one in the slightest 

Tony Stank: she is right you know I mean Steve and Nat would make the best parenting team. 

Le scarlet bitch: precisely

mother of spiders: maybe we should adopt Peter 

Peterman: Nah Aunt May would be pissed but I'm happy i was considered :)

Mother of spiders: no probs :)

Le scarlet bitch: hey nat 

Le scarlet bitch: Nat 

Le scarlet bitch: Nat 

Le scaret bitch: ugh 

Birdman 2: who screamed 

le scarlet bitch: NO ONE GO IN THE KITCHEN I REPEAT OMG AHHHHHHH NO IM NOT CLEANING THE KITCHEN TODAY SOMEONE ELSE CAN EW EW EW EW NO NO CAN THEY LEAVE NOW IM ALSO NEVER AND I RELEAT NEVERRRRRR USING THE NEW COFFEE MACINE EVERRRRR AGAIN 

Birdman 2: ugh they need to leave 


	20. Steves best friend

peterman: when is Mr rogers and Miss Romanoff getting back 

The chilly soldier: they said Monday but I mean look at their Instagram, they'll end up staying till Christmas 

The chilly soldier: why 

Peterman: because it's now very obvious that only they can control the compound 

The chilly soldier: and it means no one is telling us what to do 

THE QUEEN OF MEMES: Yeah 

Peterman: it was fun until my room was plastered with the same picture of Mr Barton WANDA YOU FAILED MR ROGERS 

Le scarlet bitch: hey its not my fault 

Peterman: YES IT IS 

Le scarlet bitch: no no its Steve's fault he wouldn't let me lock them up

The chilly solider: love you too 

Le scarlet bitch: 😊

Peterman: THE TAPE RUINED MY WALLS

Birdman2: MUHAHAHA

QUEEN OF MEMES: Well this something else 

The chilly soldier: listen we'll take the heat from mum and dad (A/N im British get over it)

Le scarlet bitch: THAT WAS ONE TIME AND IM NOT WRONG 

The chilly soldier: i never said you were 

Birdman2: Hey im not taking heat from Nat 

The chilly soldier: Fine i will

Birdman2: it wouldn't matter im his best friend he wouldn't shout at me.

The chilly soldier: hey no im his best friend 

Birdman2: uhuh yeah 

The chilly soldier: no no no i have been his best friend since the 40s and will be till the end of the line thank you very much you pigeon 

Birdman2: so what you've been best friends since the 40s for 70 years he didn't know you where alive 

The chilly soldier: that's his fault not mine 

Le scarlet bitch:guys

Birdman2: exactly means he didn't care enough to find his 'best friend'

The chilly soldier: you can't be best friends within a few years of knowing someone 

Birdman2: you and wanda are all lovey-dovey and youve only known eachother for a few years 

The chilly soldier: ok 1. Wanda isn't my best friend

Le scarlet bitch: HEY

The chilly soldier: no i mean youre not my friend youre my girlfriend so you can't be my best friend only my best girlfriend 

Le scarlet bitch: your logic makes no sense but I'll take it. 

The chilly soldier: and 2. We knew each other when we were with HYDRA so ha 

Birdman2: Wanda wasn't with HYDRA for that long 

Le scarlet bitch: I was just you didn't know 

Birdman2:...

Birdman2: im steves best friend


	21. Christmas not Christmas

**{Steve and Nat pc}**

Nat: Steve 

Nat: Steve 

Nat: Steve 

Nat: Steve 

Nat: Steve

Steve: What 

Nat: that is no way to talk to your girlfriend 

Steve: Nat i love you but im in the middle of a meeting with Fury 

Nat: oh

Nat: k bye 

Steve:..... 

**{Nat and Wanda pc}**

Nat: Wanda 

Nat: Wanda 

Nat: Wanda

Wanda: wut

Nat: That is no way to talk to your best friend 

Wanda: im in a meeting 

Nat: with fury?

Wanda: yeah so talk to you later k

Nat: fine

**{Sam and Nat pc}**

Nat: Sam

Nat: Sam

Nat: Sam

Nat: Sam 

Sam: what

Nat: where are you

Sam: in a meeting 

Nat:.... Bye 

**{Nat and Bucky pc}**

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes

Bucky: for the love God

Bucky: What do you want nat

Nat: that is no way to talk to your your best friends girlfriend and your girlfriends best friend 

Bucky: What

Bucky: Do

Bucky: You

Bucky: Want 

Nat: right yes. What do i get Steve for Christmas 

Bucky: A new girlfriend

Bucky: I'm in a meeting and Christmas is ages away so 

Nat: why is everyone in a meeting but me 

Bucky: cos no one likes you 

Natasha: 🖕

Bucky: c ya 

Nat: what does Wanda see in you.

**{Nat and Steve pc}**

Steve: meetings over 

Nat: :) 

Nat: so Steve 

Steve: yep

Nat: what is something you love 

Steve: you 

Nat: aww

Nat: but apart from me

Steve:....

Steve: i don't know 

Nat: come on Steve help me out here 

Steve: erm i guess i love drawing 

Nat: there you go 

Steve: why'd ya ask 

Nat: i want to get Christmas presents now so ifvthey take forever to arrive it should be arouund Christmas when they do

Steve: you don't have to get me anything for Chrismas Nat 

Nat: yes i do because i love you and you deserve it

Steve: Nat as long as you're with me and you love me thats the best gift you can get me 

Nat:.... 

Nat: cheesy but awww 

Nat: that means you can't buy me anything 

Steve: Eh maybe i already have 

Nat: tell me 

Steve: no

Nat: Steve if you love me then you'll tell me

Steve:.... I love you so much but no 

Nat: does anyone else know 

Steve: 3 people 

Nat:......

Nat: one of them is Barnes 

Nat: brb

**{Bucky and Nat pc}**

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Nat: Barnes 

Bucky: oh my God what 

Nat: what did Steve get me for Christmas 

Bucky: can't say and won't say 

Nat: who else knows what it is 

Bucky: can't say and won't say

Nat: you suck.

Bucky: :)

Nat: will I like it 

Bucky:.. Ugh 

Bucky: if you love him and are committed to him then yes you will 

Nat: so it's a bad gift

Bucky: Never said that 


	22. *smashes phone* i was due an upgrade *walks away*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is a reference to b99 if you were wondering

**{peter and tony PC}**

Peter: hey Mr Stark

Tony: yep

Peter: can you pick me up please 

Tony: why what happened 

Peter: nothing just Aunt May is an hour late and got a text from her saying she's working late 

Tony: sure thing where are you now

Peter: Just outside school 

Peter: i would take the train but May said she was picking me up so i didn't take any money

Tony: that's fine give me like 15 minutes 

Peter: thanks 

Tony: Any time kid

Peter: sorry if i sound rude but could you hurry up its raining 

Tony: yeah yeah i know give me 30 seconds 

Peter: DONT TEXT AND DRIVE MR STARK WE CANT HAVE ANOTHER MR DR STRANGE INCIDENT

Peter: thank you 

Peter: its really cold 

Peter: my phones getting wet

Peter: i was due and upgrade anyway

Tony: kid i will make you wait outside that school for another half an hour if you don't stop texting 

Peter: MR STARK STOP TEXTINB AND DRIVING 

Peter: Ned told me something today it was really interesting and I can't remember what it was 

Peter: but i nailed my Spanish test 

Peter: MJ was off today which sucked 

Tony: right that's it im turning around

Peter: NO IM SORRY ILL STOP

**{Nat and Wanda PC}**

Nat: you know where Steve is?

Wanda: nope 

Nat: you know where Barnes is

Wanda: yeah

Nat: ask him 

Wanda: kk 

Wanda: he said yes 

Nat: well where is he?

Wanda: hang on 

Wanda: he cant say 

Nat: that little shit

Wanda: hey 

Nat: im not wrong 

Wanda: well no but he's by bf so i have to defend him 

Nat: eh ok 

**{Nat and Steve}**

Nat: Steve 

Nat: Steven 

Nat: Steven Rogers 

Nat: Stevie boi

Nat: HEY OLD MAN GET ANSWER ME

Steve: hello 

Nat: where the fuck are you Barnes won't tell me

Steve: Not a surprise 

Steve: and im not saying 

Nat: i can track your phone old man

Steve: you won't find out i just left and on the way back now sucker 

Nat: 😤

Steve: love youuu

Nat: love you too 

**{Wanda and Bucky PC}**

Wanda: hey what's taking so long 

Bucky: huh 

Wanda: you went to the shop like 40 mins ago you only went out for beer 

Bucky: oh i got distracte

Wanda: by what 

Bucky: a chair 

Wanda:.... 

Wanda: what shop did you fucking go to 

Bucky: Costco 

Wanda: why there's a shop that's only like a minute drive 

Bucky: yes but there was traffic 

Wanda: 🤦

Bucky: can i buy the chair

Wanda: no 

Bucky: why 

Wanda: how did you expect to get it back to the tower

Bucky: well 

Wanda: no im not letting you come pick me up and make me bring it home with my powers 

Bucky: whyyyy 

Wanda: because im tired and its raining and am in dire need of beer

Bucky: 😥

Wanda: maybe another day when its not raining and im not tired and not in dire need of beer 

Bucky: fine 

Wanda: now hurry up or I'll start the movie without you 

Bucky: not fair

Wanda: MUHAHAH 

Bucky: you're such a witch

Wanda: what can i say Sargent

Bucky: be home in 10 minutes

Wanda: yay 

Bucky: love you doll

Wanda: you too James 

**{Shuri and T'challa}**

Shuri: Yeet 

T'challa: what

Shuri: Yeet

T'challa:... 

Shuri: THIS BITCH IS EMPTY 

Shuri: YEET

T'challa: im disowning you 

Shuri: WAIT NO 

Shuri: wait Nah idc do what ever you want 

T'challa: love you too

Shuri: thought you disowned me 

T'challa: i take it back i no longer love you

Shuri: nope cant take it back its in the world now nothing you can do about it brother

**{#teamcap4t** **hewin GC}**

wanda: why 

Bucky: Sam that's why 

Nat: ugh 

Scott: wait what thought this whole thing was over with 

Sam: it is 

Clint: Bird Bro 

Sam: is that a thing now

Clint: yes anyway 

Clint: why 

Sam: just because its over doesn't make us any less team cap and its nice to get away from them from time to time ya know 

Bucky: you could just like put your phone down or something

Sam:...

Sam: 🖕

Clint: where's the old man himself

Nat: driving 

Clint: huh interesting.

**Sam changed their name to: The best birdman**

**Sam changed Clint's name to: Less cool birdman**

**Sam changed Bucky's name to: Dickhead**

**Sam changed Nat's name to: Ginny Weasley**

**Sam changed Steve's name to: grandad**

**Sam changed Scott's name to: Tik Tac**

**Sam changed Wanda's name to: red**

Dickhead: seriously 

The best bird man: yes seriously 

Red: Why is mine so simple 

The best birdman: because 

Red:.... 

Ginny Weasley: i hate you 

The best birdman: I SAVED YOUR LIFE WHEN BARNES SHOT YOU

Ginnt Weasley: Actually Maria did more than you but k


	23. Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I just thought of this but next week's update will be like Bucky x Wanda centric also the comedians in this are British so idk if you'll know them because i don't leave the house enough to know. Also sorry if you don't like musicals but i did actually go see Shrek the musical a while back and they didn't sing all star :(

Peterman: ok guys right here right now 

QUEEN OF MEMES:?

Peterman: WHO HERE LIKES MUSICALS 

QUEEN OF MEMES: Me

Le scarlet bitch: me 

Goldilocks: LOKI DOES 

Peterman: can we add him please

Goldilocks: YOU MAY NEED CLINT'S PERMISSION

Peterman: k

Peterman: got it 

**peterman added Sneaky snek**

Peterman: I hear you like musicals 

Sneaky snek: yes i do 

Peterman: ok that's 4 of us and that will do ok 

Peterman: favourite 3 musicals go

Sneaky snek: Carrie Phantom of the Opera and Le misérable 

Peterman: classics 

QUEEN OF MEMES: Shrek the musical, shrek the musical and shrek the musical 

Petermam: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME 

QUEEN OF MEMES: You know they never sung that one when i went to see it and i was so sad

Le scarlet bitch: erm.. Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen and Heathers 

Le scarlet bitch: ik basic new people to musicals but I've listened to loads and they are my favorite so...

Peterman: personally i like Be more chill, mean girls and waitress 

Peterman: k so who are your fav characters in those Musicals 

Sneaky snek: Tommy Ross for Carrie The Phantom of the Opera for well you know and Marius Pontmercy for Le Misérable because i really like fantastic beats

QUEEN OF MEMES: Shrek shrek and Shrek 

Le scarlet bitch: erm.. Conor Murphy Hamilton and JD

Peterman: i like Micheal Regina George and ya boi Ogie ya boy

Mother of spiders: Huh

Le scarlet bitch: what 

Motherofspiders: i think out little witch here has a type of men she liked 

Birdman 2: oo this is interesting hang on need to get Barnes online 

Le scarlet bitch: im so confused 

The chilly soldier: same 

Motherofspiders: listen we don't know a lot about Wanda's like interest in men and im intrigued and I've just figured it out bitch kinda anyway

Motherofspiders: ok Conor Murphy and Hamilton: has long hair

Motherofspiders: Barnes: has long hair 

Motherofspiders: JD has oblivious Mental problems

The chilly soldier: HEY

Motherofspiders: Barnes: Has mental problems IN THE WWAY HYDRA FUCKED WITH YA MIND 

Le scarlet bitch: and... 

Motherofspiders: ugh ok Wanda who is your favorite comedian 

Le scarlet bitch: James Acaster 

Motherofspiders: Exactly 

Le scarlet bitch: I DONT GET IT SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE 

Birdman 2: what she's saying is 

Birdman 2: you have a preference for people with long hair fucked minds and are called James 

Le scarlet bitch: No i do not 

Sneaky snek: i believe you do

Le scarlet bitch: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS

Motherofspiders: Wanda you have a type its not that big of a deal 

The chilly soldier: should I be offended 

Motherofspiders: no it means that you are the perfect man for my best friend 

Og birdman: Hey 

Motherofspiders: get over it

Green giant: Actually Wanda's favourite characters before Barnes joined the team were: Jared Kleinman Eliza Hamilton and Veronica and her favorite comedian was Jack Whitehall. 

Green giant: meaning she doesn't have a type her mind just unconsciously changed her favorite of things to fit the person she loved 

Tony stank: Brucie that was real sweet 

Le scarlet bitch: HA I DONT HAVE A TYPE I JUST REALLY LOVE MT BOYFRIEND AND MY MIND JUST HAPPENS TO DO THINGS WITH OUR MY PERMISSION 

The chilly soldier: love you too?


	24. Sorryyyyyyyyy again

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE TOMORROW IM SO SORRY BUT IVE BEEN SO BUSY AND ONLY MANAGED TO UPDATE ONE FANFIC IM SO SORRY.**


	25. ROADTRIP BITCHESSS (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRRRY THIS IS SO SHORT

Oldman: AVENGERS WE'RE GOING ON A FRIVKINH ROAD TRIP

Peterman: ayy 

Birdman 2: ugh 

Le scarlet bitch: im only going if i can get a cat 

The chilly soldier: I'll get you a cat 

Le scarlet bitch: :)

Tony Stank: you cant Thor is allergic 

Le scarlet bitch: :(

**{Bucky and wanda }**

Bucky: I'll get you a cat 

Wanda: I love you you know that right?

Bucky: you've mentioned it :)

Wanda: good because i do

Wanda: youre one of the best things to ever happen to me and i love you 

Bucky: *wipes tear away dramatically* i love you too doll

**{avengers gc}**

Og birdman: when we going?

Oldman: tomorrow pack ya bags and let's go

QUEEN OF MEMES: Me and T'challa are feeling very left out rn 

Peterman: :(((( 

QUEEN OF MEMES: :((((((

Oldman: sorry guys 

Queen elsa: its fine 

Oldman: right then. We have 2 cars each car has 7 seats that meaning the (A/N im British if you don't know what the boot of the car is google it) boot is pretty much nonexistent due to the fact that to make the last 2 seats you need to get rid of the boots. Ok so in car one we have 

Oldman: Me and Nat in the front. Sam and Clint in the middle. Wanda and Bucky in the back. You can mix it up but im driving and Nat is always next to me so :p

Oldman: in car two we have: Tony and Pepper. Thor and Bruce in the middle and i think Peter gets to be my himself so he has more space for his computer and stufff 

Peterman: :)

**{10 minutes later}**

QUEEN OF MEMES: I CAN GO ON THE ROADTRIP T'CHALLA IS FLYING ME IVER IN LIKE 1 HOUR

Peterman: YESSSSSSSS 

Oldman: Shuri youre in car two 

Peterman: YESSSSSSSS 

Oldman: we will probably be driving during the night so bring blankets or whatever and snacks. 

**{Bucky and Wanda pc}**

bucky: Cant wait for tomorrow

Wanda: yeah?

Bucky: cant wait for you to get back from that mission 

Wanda: sucks that we're going on a road trip when i get back 

Wanda: Nat told me Steve's making us go camping 

Wanda: i really wanted to spend some time with you 

Bucky: you still can and its like a 2 day trip there and we'll be in the back snuggled up under blankets watching b99 on repeat with snacks and stuff

Wanda: that will be fun :) but you know the other type of quality time together 

Bucky: maybe we could sneak off in the woods (yes Steve told me its by the woods) 

Wanda: if so then maybe theres a lake we can go in and have fun in (i mean that both ways) 

Bucky: as long as we arent shsring a tent with Steve and Natasha who aren't faraid of showing off their relationship im really looking forward to it 

Wanda: me too :) i have to go sort out this paperwork :) love you

Bucky: wait

Wanda:..

Bucky: what if we video call or whatever i wanna see your face and its easier then texting 

Wanda: James...

Bucky: we don't have to

Wanda:.. Nah screw it :p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right so. This is obviously part 1 of this road trip one. And this road trip one will mainly be Winter witch beusee i love them so much to the point where its actually really sad and my friends are generally worried. I forgot i added Steve and Nat in the tags so I had too do a few chapters on them blah blah blah also so sorry how short this was


	26. ROADTRIP BITCHESSS (part two)

Og Birdman: oi romanogers hurry up the others left 

Oldman: sorry sorry 

Birdman 2: what are you doing we've been waiting for 10 minutes 

Le scarlet bitch: NO we don't wanna know

Oldman: how do u know

Le scarlet bitch: i can read minds and also bleed through 

Mother of spiders: sorrryyyyyyy

Og birdman: omg we're stuck with them for how long?

The chilly soldier: 2 days.. Well 8 all together 

Birdman 2: ugh 

Peterman: ha we only have them for 4 days 

Birdman 2: fuck off Parker 

QUEEN OF MEMES: oof

Oldman: We're not that bad

The chilly soldier: huh tell that to the kitchen counter 

Le scarlet bitch: and the couch 

The chilly soldier: and MY bed 

Le scarlet bitch: and MY bed 

The chilly soldier: and my motorbike 

Le scarlet bitch: and the coffee table 

The chilly soldier: and that one punching bag 

Mother of spiders: ok we get it 

Le scarlet bitch: oh we're not done yet 

The chilly soldier: far from done 

Oldman: ever since you two got together you've been very... Teamworky when it comes to making your point/being annoying 

Birdman 2: theyve always been like this its just it only stands out now that they are sleeping together 

Le scarlet bitch: seriously 

Le scarlet bitch: on that note Steve please don't think of Natasha like that and vice verse because being in a confined space with you two is scary enough by itself but just please don't

Mother of spiders: could say the same thing to u and Barnes 

Le scarlet bitch: ah but no because 1. You can't read minds 2. u did it on my bed so go away

Oldman: THAT WAS ONE TIME 

Le scarlet bitch: IT SHOULDNT HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE 

Le scarlet bitch: I SLEEP THERE 

The chilly soldier: SO DO I 

og birdman: they did it in my house once 

Og birdman: thankfully Laura had taken the kids to see her parents 

Mother of spider: ok can we all stop now

The chilly soldier: stop having sex everywhere and we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. 

Le scarlet bitch: ayy 

Le scarlet bitch: now hurry up cos i know youve stopped and its due to rain and i wanna be on the road when it rains. 

Oldman: why 

Le scarlet bitch: its more fun also you can't use a blanket if its hot as hell

Oldman: ok we're coming Calm down 

**{20 minutes later}**

le scarlet bitch: omg i wanna get the bus 

green giant: why

Birdman 2: Romanogers singing 

Le scarlet bitch: HA suckers i found my soundproof headphones 

Peterman: why do you have them 

Le scarlet bitch: Steve and Nats room is right next to mine

Peterman: 😶

The chilly soldier: and i have a pair cos Steve's old room is next to mine

green giant: we all need soundproof headphones for this trip

Le scarlet bitch: hey

green giant: not for u and barnes because we've never seen you kiss apart from when u said i love you 

QUEEN OF MEMES: we need it for romanogers and pepperoni (hehe)

Peterman: especially for me and Shuri

Le scarlet bitch: one if you can have my pair

Le scarlet bitch: they won't help me much anyway because of bleed through so ill go for a run or something 


	27. ROADTRIP BITCHESSS (part three)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i haven't updated i just haven't had the motivation

Le scarlet bitch: are we nearly there yet 

The green giant: no 

**{ 2 minutes later}**

Le scarlet bitch: are we nearly there yet

The green giant: no 

**{ 2 minutes later}**

Le scarlet bitch: are we nearly there yet

The green giant: wanda 

Le scarlet bitch: yeah

The green giant: remember when we first met and I hated your guts 

Le scarlet bitch: vividly 

The green giant: you ask one more time and those feelings are gonna come back

Le scarlet bitch: I can't ask anyone in my car tho 

The green giant: why not 

Le scarlet bitch: Clint and James are sleeping Sam is listening to a podcast or something and said and I quote "disturb me and it wont matter how powerfull you are i will throw you out the he" and i dont wanna talk to Steve and Nat 

The green giant: isn't Nat like your best friend 

Le scarlet bitch: yeah but im bad at her 

The green giant: why

Le scarlet bitch: her and Steve where being... Passionate towards each other?

Peterman: oof

Le scarlet bitch: so how's things in your car 

The green giant: Tony and Pepper are fine the God of Thunder is asleep 

Peterman: I was texting my girlfriend before me and Shuri watched a 2-hour vine compilation and now we're watching how to train your dragon 

Le scarlet bitch: Omg I love that movie 

Peterman: omg the 3rd one tho 

Le scarlet bitch: we pretend it never happened ok 

Peterman: yes mam

Peterman: after the hated marathon we're gonna binge B99 and stranger things

Le scarlet bitch: ugh why is your car so much better than mine 

The green giant: you literally have your boyfriend next to you 

Le scarlet bitch: yeah but he's asleep so I can't talk to him 

Peterman: me and Shuri have snacks as well 

Le scarlet bitch: oo what have you got 

Peterman: **(A/N ok im British and I have no clue what American snacks or whatever are like or cereal so just bear with me as I guess)** so we've got 2 share packets of m&ms got 2 share packets of skittles oh at the gas station we got 2 boxes of lucky charms and we also have 6 bags of popcorn (we're on the rd for 2 days this is only lasting us like 6 hrs) we've got 2 bottles of spite (the ones you get with a meal deal) 2 bottles of cherry coke. 3 packets of Doritos (one for each flavour) salt and vinegar pringles.... And a 4 litre bottle of water **(A/N me and my friends once bought one and it was amazing)**

Le scarlet bitch: ugh wtf when we pulled over i only got a pack of oreos, water, like a few poptart things (hidden from Thor tho he got like 8) a bit of lunch and a nice portable charger for my laptop. 

QUEEN OF MEMES: i feel sorry for you 

Le scarlet bitch: it's not all bad I've got Stranger Things to binge like you 2 i mean at least for today and then im gonna charge my laptop at the b&b we're staying at tonight. And i might listen to some audiobooks 

Le scarlet bitch: gonna watch the fault in out stars cos i read it and i think I deserve to watch the movie now.


	28. I'm a horrible person

**SORRY I SWEAR AFTER CHRISTMAS ALL MT STORYS WILL BE UPDATED IM WORKING ON A STORY RN AND I HAVE THE PLOT SET UP AND IM WRITING THAT NOW IM SO SORRY BUT IF YOU LIKE ANY OF MY STORIES JUST TELL ME AND I'LL UPDATE IT. ITS JUST THE ONE IM WORKING ON (it's a surprise) IS MY MAIN PRIORITY ATM SORRY**


	29. ROADTRIP BITCHESSS (part idk 4??)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PrEtEnd tHis cHapteR tAkeS plAce oN chRisTmas EvE

Green giant: Tony told me to tell you that we are about 5 mins away from the place we are staying 

Mother of spiders: oh thank God my legs cant take it

birdman 2:I cant take you and Steve being all mushy and gross

Mother of spiders: why isnt Wintetwitch getting this 

Og birdman: winterwitch?

Mother of spiders: winter soldier + scarlet witch 

Mother of spiders: or would you prefer scarletwinter... both equally cool.

QUEEN OF MEMES: ITS CHRISTMAS EVEEEEEEEEEE 

Peterman: did we bring the presents or are we waiting until we get back

Birdman: unfortunately grandad didnt think ahead and didnt realise Christmas would overlap with out little vacation from saving the world.

Mother of spiders: in all fairness we arent in the middle of saving the world rn 

The chilly soldier: Steve brought one of your gifts tho

Mother of spiders: aha take that suckers 

Og birdman: oh look who's finally awake 

Green giant: you know you need to train your girlfriend 

The chilly soldier: huh

Green giant: she can be annoying when she doesnt have you to talk to

The chilly soldier: ah 

Og birdman: oh my God you're hopelessly in love 

The chilly soldier: what 

Birdman 2: why arent you having this conversation with your voices 

The chilly solider: I dont want to wake Wanda 

Green giant: how would you wake Wanda just be quite 

The chilly soldier: shes a light sleeper and her head is half on my shoulder half on my chest so she would easily hear me

Green giant: ah and how is he 'hopelessly in love'? 

Og birdman: when you said shes annoying when she doesnt have you he looked down at her and smiled with this stupid grin and might as well have had hearts in his eyes 

The chilly soldier: I apologise for loving my girlfriend 

**{5 minutes later}**

Mother of spider: oh my God I'm dying 

Peterman: why 

Mother of spider: **Sends video**

_In the video_

"Someone needs to wake Wanda" Sam whispers

Wanda's head is on Bucky's shoulder 

Bucky looks at her with a #goofygrin 

"I dont have the heart to do it" Bucky whispers looking at Wanda lovingly 

"I'll do it." Nat whispers 

"Wanda, we're here, time to wake up." She whispers softly 

*insert that scene in frozen when Anna wakes up on coronation day just minus the drool*

"No James, you can go do that mission tell Fury he can go and do one" she mumbles in her sleepy state 

The car erupts into laughter at the sight of her while Bucky kisses her temple with the same #goofygrin

QUEEN OF MEMES: HAHAHAH WHY AM I GETTING FROZEN VIBES 

Tony stank: someone please send that to Fury 


	30. CHRISTMASSS PREVIEW ISH JUST LETTING YOU KNOW I HAVENT FORGOT ABOUT THIS STORY LOL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RIGHT IM SORRY BUT I HAD THE WHOLE THING THEN ACCIDEN DELTED IT SO THIS IS WHAT UR GETTING FOR NOW LEAVING IT ON A HAKF CLIFFHANGER ISH

**Sam Bucky and Steve gc**

Steve: Merry Christmas 

sam: dude it’s too early 

Bucky: ughhhhh

steve: yeah well I’m about to do what I said i was gonna do

Sam: Huh

Bucky: holy shit 

Sam: what’s he doing 

Steve: I’m gonna ask Nat to marry me

Sam: HOLY FUCK DUDE WTF


	31. CHRISTMAS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLLOOOO I'VE ADDED ANOTHER THING TO MY WINTERWITCH ONESHOTS AS WELL

Peterman: MERRY CHRISTMAS 

QUEEN OF MEMES: MERRY CHRISTMAS 

Le scarlet bitch: with no presents

The chilly soldier: thanks steve 

Birdman 2: considering your pasts I feel like you wouldn't care about that stuff 

Le scarlet bitch: surprise I care 

Old man: Buck come with me I need you to record something 

The chilly soldier: k

Birdman 2: why not me

Old man: let's go Buck

The chilly soldier: yup 

Le scarlet bitch: what's going on

Birdman 2: you'll find out later 

Le scarlet bitch: ugh 

_Half an hour later_

Mother of spiders: WERE ENGAGED

le scarlet bitch: HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY FUCKINH GOD BITCH 

Tony stank: congratulations guys 

Goldilocks: WELL DONE STEVE AND NATASHA 

le scarlet bitch: BARNES YOUR SON OF A BITCH

The chilly soldier: What

Le scarlet bitch: YOU FUCKING KNEW AND DIDNT TELL ME 

The chilly soldier: sorry 

Og birdman: congratulations Nat I'm so happy for u 2 Laura and the kids will be so happy as well love you

Mother of spider: thanks Clint I love you too

Birdman 2: 

{Video of Steve proposing infront of the lake. Nats eyes well up and her hands go to her mouth. She says yes and he spins her around then places on the floor. They then kiss. The sound of sam cheering in the backround}

Le scarlet bitch: guyyyyyyys 

QUEEN OF MEMES: awwwwwwwwww 

**Author's Note:**

> It's short Ik but if you have any requests for next chapters then let me know :)


End file.
